Wednesday, April 15, 2009

One second at a time

I wish I felt like Bella did this morning, happy and carefree. Just jazzed to be here.

But I don't. I have worries. Second by second, my mind changes. One second: I can do it! Next second: Oh crap, what the hell am I getting myself into? Literally, second by second!! It is driving me completely NUTS!

As I mentioned before, I am doing this marathon Sunday: Diablo (Apr 19)

I did my last long run a week ago. Since then I have done little things here and there. My last trail run was on Easter, one week before the marathon. I'm used to running every single day that I am able. This means if I'm not scheduled to work all day, I will be running. In a matter of three days without running, I am convinced that when Sunday rolls around I will forget how to run. My knees and ankles will not bend when they're supposed to. My muscles will have lost all their strength. My toes are going to curl up in my shoes. I'm going to slip and fall on loose rocks because my feet will be too heavy to lift off the ground. My lungs are going to feel like they are the size of soybeans, therefore I will not be able to breathe in and out deep enough. I'm going to fall backwards when I'm trying to climb up to the summit because the trail is super steep. Oh, the list goes on and on.

Then I read this on the PCTR message boards:

"You will need to carry and take electrolytes. It will be hot and you will be losing not only lots of fluids, but also electrolytes. You can take care of this by taking any number of electrolyte supplements. If you don't have any, then be sure to eat plenty of the salty snacks at the aid stations (potato chips, pretzels, etc. they even have salt at the aid stations). Finally, and not to scare you, but this is a difficult marathon. The elevation can be quite challenging. Be very careful, take it slow and easy. There are a number of technical challenges on this course and plenty of places where you can slip. But, it is an incredibly beautiful course and the people are quite friendly."

It's supposed to be 84 degrees Sunday. 84 friggin' degrees! This course is not known for having canopy covered single track trails, just in case you were wondering. There is a reason Diablo means The Devil.
Remember the way you felt after your last great run? You felt so strong. You could go run forever and you're sorry there was only ten miles on your training schedule for the day. Well, I want that feeling NOW. I want to feel that confidence that goes along with it too. I know I felt that way on Sunday but how quickly it faded. My legs feel great right now. I keep telling myself to just go out for a quick little run. With my luck I would pull a hammy or twist an ankle. I want to be healthy going into Sunday. Thank God I am scheduled all day at work for the next three days.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm scared to death about Sunday. I should be though. I never sign up for easy stuff. I like to challenge myself. If I wasn't nervous then obviously it would be too easy. After my last long run I felt more than ready for Diablo. But since then, a few people have asked me if I feel ready. Well shit! I did before people started asking me. Then I started second guessing myself. Did I do everything I possibly could to prepare myself? Should I have done something different? I was going to check out the course a little bit today with Christy but that didn't pan out. She had an opportunity to go to Disneyland with her son. Whatever, I guess I'll give her that one. ;)
Thanks for listening and letting me unload my brain. I'm going to keep staring at the course description and elevation chart and continue to freak myself out. I should feel even worse by tomorrow.
Until later.............


MJ said...

All you're missing is the phantom pre-race muscle tweak or pseudo-injury to worry about....

My body always supplies me with something to fret about in the days before a race.

For the record - I predict you will rock it. And by that I mean you will have had a blast when it is all said and done.

Good luck!

aron said...

omg this is how i am going to be in 2 weeks. i have tapered before, i know it works and i know there is a purpose BUT i was thinking the same thing... omg what if i get out of shape and just cant run that far LOL. why is this hurting? have i done enough??

YOU KNOW you can do it! you had an amazing run and are going to do awesome in this race! you are being smart by taking it easy and giving those legs a rest, they will thank you come sunday!!! the fact that your legs feel GREAT is a perfect sign in itself.

breathe, get focused, be excited!!

i was thinking about you when i saw the forecast for this weekend too!

Marcy said...

LOL you're so cute! You're going to do/be FINE!! ;D ;D Now all you have to do is kick some butt :-)

Southbay Girl said...

Ok woman stop psyching yourself out! (I can say that because I do the exact same thing sometimes to the point of being phsically sick!)

You LOVE trails! That is all you run! You feel at home on the trails!! Remember that!!! I know it's going to be hot this weekend! It's supposed to be in the 90's here so I know you'll be getting some heat! My question is-do you run with a belt? Hold bottles? Camelback? I know I always have an issue with the heat and always have to run with gatorade and salty peanuts...just plan on doing that! You know how to do this!! You could get electrolyte tablets-that might be the easiest way to replenish! And they don't taste nasty!!!

I so wish I could be there to support you! If I wasn't going to be in my own sheep herding hell this weekend(which I too am psyching myself out of) I'd be there supporting you!! I'll be with you in person! And hell, I'll give you my cell number if you want to call me anytime while your running for some of Penny's motivation screaming yelling and support!!!

But most important of all-have fun and listen to your body!!! You know yourself and what you can handle!!! Take everything you need, relax, take pictures, wear a hat, take as much fluid with you as possible and have FUN!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!


Drs. Cynthia and David said...

I know exactly how you feel! Darn that taper madness! Don't worry, your body will remember how to run just fine, and it will be so happy you let it rest up first! The course is very treacherous in places though, so be careful. You were smart to sign up for the marathon- at least you'll be done before dark!

Loved the RBR posting about Garin. She is so funny.


Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

It's the taper talking. Breathe in slowly. Breathe out.


Anonymous said...

That's just a typical stage freight! Once you are at the start you'll be fine - PROMISE!! I often feel the same. Don't let them scare you - you might like running in the heat even. My advice: Drink a lot of Coke and don't take electrolytes if you haven't done so in the past; they can upset your stomach.

Rick Gaston said...

Omigosh, hahahahahaha, I so totally didn't see this post before I wrote mine's. You must be freaking a bit since you don't usually write such long posts.

You know the opposite will happen right? Come Sunday you will feel super and able. Like what Penny said, stop psyching yourself out. Just think, it's gonna be another great day of running and we will be there, your friends, volunteering and racing. It will be a grand, grand day. Besides I've always had this feeling that Devil Mountain is much nicer to the East Bay folks. I think she plays favorites but you didn't hear it from me.

Rick Gaston said...

Okay I got it. I will make it up to you by bringing you some sugah on Sunday. What's your pleasure; Chocolate, Candy Corn, Cookies?

Missy said...

I second MJ, you will rock it! Have YOU ever failed YOU? NO! So there, you do this why? Because you like love it. The body remembers, the body knows. Just be prepared when you get there with salty goodies and some electrolyte drink options.

Kill it JoLynn!

Judi said...

i think you are going to be great!

Victoria said...

You can do this! You are an East Bay native, remember? You're also strong (both physically and mentally), so even if it's hot and tiring, YOU WILL CONQUER EL DIABLO!!!

Just keep this quote in mind from Dave Covey, who is an ultra runner from Marin:

"RFP- Relentless Forward Progress"

Can't wait to see you on Sunday!

René said...

Go for it! And it's ok if you need to stop and take a breather. Nuun is my fave electrolyte replacement. I've had hyponatremia before, it's no joke. The trick is to prevent it before it happens.

Stuart said...

You;ll do fine, pace and hydrate, check out last year's reports it was hot then too!