But I don't. I have worries. Second by second, my mind changes. One second: I can do it! Next second: Oh crap, what the hell am I getting myself into? Literally, second by second!! It is driving me completely NUTS!
As I mentioned before, I am doing this marathon Sunday: Diablo (Apr 19)
I did my last long run a week ago. Since then I have done little things here and there. My last trail run was on Easter, one week before the marathon. I'm used to running every single day that I am able. This means if I'm not scheduled to work all day, I will be running. In a matter of three days without running, I am convinced that when Sunday rolls around I will forget how to run. My knees and ankles will not bend when they're supposed to. My muscles will have lost all their strength. My toes are going to curl up in my shoes. I'm going to slip and fall on loose rocks because my feet will be too heavy to lift off the ground. My lungs are going to feel like they are the size of soybeans, therefore I will not be able to breathe in and out deep enough. I'm going to fall backwards when I'm trying to climb up to the summit because the trail is super steep. Oh, the list goes on and on.
Then I read this on the PCTR message boards:
"You will need to carry and take electrolytes. It will be hot and you will be losing not only lots of fluids, but also electrolytes. You can take care of this by taking any number of electrolyte supplements. If you don't have any, then be sure to eat plenty of the salty snacks at the aid stations (potato chips, pretzels, etc. they even have salt at the aid stations). Finally, and not to scare you, but this is a difficult marathon. The elevation can be quite challenging. Be very careful, take it slow and easy. There are a number of technical challenges on this course and plenty of places where you can slip. But, it is an incredibly beautiful course and the people are quite friendly."
It's supposed to be 84 degrees Sunday. 84 friggin' degrees! This course is not known for having canopy covered single track trails, just in case you were wondering. There is a reason Diablo means The Devil.
Remember the way you felt after your last great run? You felt so strong. You could go run forever and you're sorry there was only ten miles on your training schedule for the day. Well, I want that feeling NOW. I want to feel that confidence that goes along with it too. I know I felt that way on Sunday but how quickly it faded. My legs feel great right now. I keep telling myself to just go out for a quick little run. With my luck I would pull a hammy or twist an ankle. I want to be healthy going into Sunday. Thank God I am scheduled all day at work for the next three days.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm scared to death about Sunday. I should be though. I never sign up for easy stuff. I like to challenge myself. If I wasn't nervous then obviously it would be too easy. After my last long run I felt more than ready for Diablo. But since then, a few people have asked me if I feel ready. Well shit! I did before people started asking me. Then I started second guessing myself. Did I do everything I possibly could to prepare myself? Should I have done something different? I was going to check out the course a little bit today with Christy but that didn't pan out. She had an opportunity to go to Disneyland with her son. Whatever, I guess I'll give her that one. ;)
Thanks for listening and letting me unload my brain. I'm going to keep staring at the course description and elevation chart and continue to freak myself out. I should feel even worse by tomorrow.