Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day for me

It's Mother's Day today. I am sitting in bed with a cup of coffee, reading the newspaper online. I came across an article on women that have "turned into" their mothers.

At 47 years of age, I do not feel like I have done this. Could it be that I don't want to? I think so.

Being raised by my adopted Mom, I always struggled with my identity growing up. I definitely knew I wasn't my Mom's daughter or my brothers' sister. I was very loved by my adopted family, no doubt about it, but I always felt different.

Because if this, I searched for, and found, my birth mother when I was 21 years old. At first it was really cool. She was only 15 years older than me, half that of my adopted Mom. We became party buddies, going to bars on Friday nights and attracting so much attention. We became great friends and spent a lot of time together.

Soon after, I became a mother to a daughter myself. Less time was spent with my birth mother and I grew a much greater appreciation for my adopted Mom. I was raising one child and learned such respect for the woman who had raised me along with my three older brothers, all by herself. She did whatever she had to, to provide for us. She never let us down.

I watched my birth mother burn through more relationships in her life, have yet another child after I had my daughter and then years later abandon all her children and grandchildren once again.

So when I read the article on "turning into" your mother, I started thinking about the "nurture vs nature" thing.

In a lot of physical ways I am like my birth mother. When I begin to put on unwanted weight, I immediately see her in me. I walk just like her. Our hair color is the same, our smile almost identical. When it comes to traits my birth mother has, I'm happy to say I have been able to conquer a few of the very bad ones and refuse to take on some of the others.

Although I haven't "turned into" either of my mothers, I am thrilled to be able to reflect this morning and realize the nurturing from my Mom has helped me become the woman and mother I am today.

I am so blessed to have that woman in my life today.

Happy Mother's Day!

Until later.........