I have not been motivated to blog about this. I don't know why.
Did I think I would feel different after doing this ride? Did I think I would feel cleansed of negative feelings? Did I think I would have more loving feelings toward my mother-in-law? I just can't figure it out.
I'm super happy I did the ride. I did it in her honor, from start to finish. I thought of her often.
When I was struggling up a hill, I would think of her months of struggling with cancer. When I was in pain, I would think of the pain she must have experienced in her final days. When I would be short of breath, I would think of her in her final hours, breathing through a tube.
I did have a TON OF FUN along the way though.
I'm not going to go into detail about the relationship we had or didn't have. I will just say that I never felt like she accepted me as Keith's second wife and I never tried to break through that barrier with her. It wasn't important to me. But being in recovery I realize my character defects as well. If I was able to think beyond myself back then, I probably could have (and would have) made every effort to have a closer relationship with her. But, I wasn't. Therefore, amends had to be made.
Stacey agreed to do this ride with me (bless this woman) the day I ran the Nitro Half Marathon with her. For a very fun, entertaining recap of the day, please pay her blog a visit. I cannot write anything even close to her story about the day. She and her LA Run Buddy followed right behind me for the entire 65 miles. They never complained about my speed or anything. They were awesome riding buddies! Even though she WOULD NOT reach into my top and get the bee out, she did assist in getting him out. Oh, you don't know about that? She can tell you all about it. ;)
07/08 - 3.65 mile walk
07/09 - 3 mile walk, Yoga class
07/10 - 1.5 mile walk, 65 mile bike ride
07/11 - 1.5 mile walk
07/12 - 3 mile hike