Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Celebrating!!!!

Two years ago yesterday, I was lying in a hospital bed while my husband and daughter waited for me to wake up from an alcohol induced "outage". 

From February 28th through March 5th of 2010, I was at the ER twice due to a relapse of my disease that is called alcoholism.  The last time, March 5th, my blood alcohol level was .422 and the doctor told my husband, "she may not come out of this."  My husband found me that morning, hiding behind a cylinder block wall, literally drinking myself to death.  How he found me was truly a divine intervention by God.  He made the right turn at the right time and caught a glimpse of Boomer on his extended leash.  Yes, I said I was 'going for a walk' and never came back.

I drive by that cylinder block wall often and I still have to look away.  I still get feelings of guilt.  How could I have done that?  I almost died because I wanted just one more drink. 

Since then, of course, I have been able to see my beautiful daughter get married and now get to celebrate her becoming a mom herself.  To think I would have missed this and to know that she wouldn't have had me there during these special events in her life, it makes me so sad sometimes.

I have to remember March 5, 2010.  Once I forget, it could easily happen again.  If it does, I may not be found.  I may try to hide even better.  With a progressive disease such as this, I would more than likely end up dead for sure.

So, today I celebrate.  I celebrate being alive and everything that goes along with that. 

16 comments:

Runners Fuel said...

Congrats on another year!! Celebrate with a long run!!

Julie Arts said...

I am so thankful that you have chosen this new path. Thinking of you today - I'm so proud of you!! Such hard work to not go back to that life. You are wonderful!

ONEHOURIRONMAN said...

I didn't know you knew Bill W.
My first wife knew him very well as does my current wife.
One day at a time

Kris said...

Congrats....definitely celebrate your accomplishments!

Aron said...

<3 <3 <3

I remember that time and I am SO GLAD you are here to celebrate now. You are SUCH an amazing friend, woman, mother, etc, definitely reason to celebrate. I am so thankful to call you my friend <3

Kate said...

Wow, this is amazing and powerful. I'm so thankful that your husband found you when he did and that you're doing better. Definitely a lot to live for and celebrate!

Jodie said...

So glad you're with us J! Every day is a reason to celebrate! Thanks for sharing yours with us!

Jilligan said...

Glad you are doing well. I have missed hearing from you but I haven't been any better about blogging. Keep up the work.

K said...

Wow. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.

trifitmom said...

amazing. so glad to hear of someone who has made it through the disease ...

Irene said...

Thank you for posting this. :) You are one tough cookie! It's time to celebrate life!

jen said...

Congratulations. What a tough time for you and your family. I am so proud of you for turning your life around. You have so much to be grateful for today! Life is good!!

Ewa said...

and I am celebrating with you because getting to know you is has been a highlight of this year for me

you are one very special lady, JoLynn

these days I tend to think that our hearts are shaped by our inner struggles and how we deal with them
your heart is shaped beautifully

thank you for you being you

Lisa said...

You are so brave to share this with the blog community!

I'm celebrating with you for many reasons, one of which is that I never would have had the opportunity to spend time with you and truly call you "friend" if that last time didn't have a happy ending.

Go run!

Pauline said...

I'm proud of you for sharing your story and for your sobriety!

You are one tough cookie.

The Green Girl said...

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. I have nothing but respect for you.